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Bellesa A platform on which women are empowered to celebrate their sexuality Martin Dimitrov via Getty Images Personally, two years into my first-ever lesbian relationship, I'm very happy to take the time to acknowledge the amazing lesbians out there in the world — my girlfriend included. And, as someone who has had sex with women but only dated men before this relationship, I appreciate being in a lesbian relationship all the more. Firstly, I'm a bisexual and proud of it. And being in a lesbian relationship in no way takes away from the fact that I am a bisexual — there is no acceptance of bi erasure here. But what being in a lesbian relationship has done is made me realize how effing amazing being in a lesbian relationship is.
Because there are a I love a girl and im a girl of differences between dating a man and dating a woman and most of them make me so freaking grateful that the person I fell for is a fellow femme. So if you've ever thought about acting out your sapphic leanings and switching your Tinder search to women, here are some factors worth considering. No feeling awkward about who pays I hate the cheque dance on dates. The idea that I shouldn't pay is a patronizing throwback to when women were, you know, basically property. I don't care that it's tradition, I find it really uncomfortable and a little insulting when someone acts like I shouldn't pay.
With a woman, it's not awkward at all or at least, just the normal amount of money awkwardness. I was sick of praising someone for being a feminist or it feeling like a deliberate choice when my needs were valued as much as they were. In a hetero relationship, you're always encountering gender norms — whether adhering to or ignoring them. With two women, you just get to sidestep them completely. OK, it's not all good. There will be blood. A lot of blood. But luckily no squeamishness around it — and there's almost always a spare tampon laying around. Our apartment is per-cent tampons. The potential for body-image issues Like I said, some things are harder with women.
I was actually way more self-conscious dating women than dating men. Even though I think of men as being more judgmental, feeling like there is a more direct comparison between you and your partner was tough at first. But once I got over it, I've never felt more confident than when I've been dating a woman. Someone putting in the same mental labour you do THIS. This is the best thing ever. There's no micromanaging a man's feelings.
There's no stress of being the only person who notices that you need to buy toilet igrl or that you need to buy a birthday gift. No praising someone because they did a single effing dish after dinner. There's no silent resentment brewing over housework or errands, because we both come at things from the same place — the burden is genuinely split, rather than having to tell someone what to do and feeling like a nag. It means you're a human being. You're definitely not alone in having sex dreams; in one studymen and women reported that about eight percent of their dreams were sexual.
You're not alone in having girl-on-girl sex dreams either—Shape sexpert Dr. Logan Levkoff even admits to having had one about Christie Brinkley in fourth grade.
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Girk don't let this sex dream send you gilr into an existential sexuality crisis. Do you know what your dreams can reveal about your identity? Levkoff explains exactly why you should just go with the flow: You can think women are sexy and attractive because, hey, we're magestic freaking creatures, am I right? A fantasy is exactly that: It's a way to experiment with roles, personalities, and experiences we may not actually want to try out in real life.